The In-Between

Immediately when I say, “The In-between” my mind visualizes the “Upside Down” from Stranger Things. Of course this comparison is slightly dramatic as I am obviously not stuck in a different dimension fighting a Demagorgon, but when I think of a way to explain the place I’m in the “Upside Down” was the first thing that came to mind, let me explain.

Chris and I met when I was twenty and he was twenty-nine. I’m sure you can all do math but for those of you who are numbers challenged, like myself, that’s a nine year age gap. The gap between us in age has never truly affected our relationship and for the most part I honestly forget that he is that much older, we’ve just found a rhythm. Although, this gap provides no noticeable differences in our relationship it does showcase the age difference between our friends. The majority of my friends are younger, which has them in a different place in their lives. They are exploring their career landscape, having thoughts about master degrees and starting serious relationships. Chris’ friends are buying homes and building families. Don’t get me wrong, I love each and every one of our friends. They are amazing beautiful people and I couldn’t be happier for each and every one of them for the places they are in and the steps they are starting to take. The only reason the places they are in are valid is because it has caused me to question mine.

Over the past couple of months, since Chris and I were married, I have felt stuck with what was next as though I was in between life steps with my younger friends and behind with my older friends. No matter the direction, I was alone in this space because now I was married so moving ahead of my friends who were still trying to form long lasting relationships with partners and behind my friends who were starting to have children, which is a different language altogether. That’s really where Stranger Things comes into play, sometimes I feel like I’m communicating through string lights stuck in another world (drama queen, I know, but still..).

These feelings followed me around for months. Thoughts of whether I was too far behind or too far ahead floated around in my head every time we went out with friends. I felt lost on how to connect or find common ground. Baby talk was a language I knew nothing about and I felt like with other friends my advice on relationships was overpowering as if I knew best or had all the answers, which is totally not the case, it’s definitely a learn as you go type of thing. Obviously, having had this on my mind for so long it became a constant daily thought for me and after a while I noticed that I wasn’t enjoying the space I was in because I was so worried about everyone else. Over the next few weeks, I wrote down all of the amazing things that were going on during this chapter of my life. I took the time to see how amazing it was that Chris and I were able to spend two weeks in California to get married followed by an epic vacation to the Bahamas and a killer road trip to Key West. We were renovating our first home and building our careers. There was so much to be thankful for and to appreciate and through coming to a good place about the space I was in I found it so much easier to bring a piece of myself to the table with friends.

My biggest advice if you are stuck in the “In-between” or the “Upside Down”(haha) is to love every minute of the good and the bad. There will be so many chapters of your life. There will be a time for exploration, marriage or children, but you’ll never get right now back. Everyone has something to offer even if it’s different and the best part about being in a different spot than someone else is the support you get when the time is right for you. Relish in the moment, it is so darn special!

I would love to hear if you guys have had any similar feelings or are stuck in this place now?